I Pity the Fool

We finally met Mr. T, our landlord, last night.  Since we've had some concerns about security measures, he stopped by to reiterate how safe and secure we should be feeling.  Here are a few snippets from our visit:

{Jeanah opens the door}

Mr. T: You must be Jeanah!  

{Jeanah, being eons nicer than some of us, refrains from saying "No, I'm Courtney Johnson. Don't be so racist."}

{When we raised concerns about leaving things in our apartment while we weren't there}

Mr. T: You could get a portable safe.

Us: {giggles} (see Munzugu Musings to right)

Mr. T: But the thing about those portable safes is people can carry them away.  

Us: What about mosquito nets?  We asked for them 2 days ago.

Mr. T: You don't want those!  They're too hot!

Us: What about all the public service ads urging their use?

Mr. T: The mosquitos here are safe.  

Us: {Sure, sure, the CDC has no idea what it's talking about...}

Courtney: So the homeless man sleeping downstairs is our guard?

Mr. T: Yes. 

Courtney: So our guard is asleep on the job?

Mr. T: Guards have to sleep too.  

Courtney: So, is the guard armed?

Mr. T: Oh yes.

Us: {hmmm, somehow this actually makes us feel less safe}

Mr. T:  It's hidden.  You don't flash your weapons around.

Us: What about the guys we see all over wearing AK-47s like Flava Flav sports a clock?

Side note: the homeless guard (HG) has stepped up his game.  Last night, he was sporting army fatigues (looking fresh from the store) and wellies.  Yep, wellies.  I hear you can really get up some speed in those things should HG need to run down any intruders.  He also has no longer been "hiding" in his bed.  Instead, last night he hid behind a column in the hall.  Well, his face and body were hidden.  Much like an ostrich with its head in the sand, HG seemed to think people couldn't see his arms and legs sticking out from behind the column.  

We're currently arranging for our own security guard.  No word yet if wellies cost extra.