Can I Get a Receipt for That Bribe?

Some say you haven't really visited a country until you've had a run in with the law. Consider Uganda visited.

We've been taking the George Express taxi nearly everywhere. All five of us. In one car. Plus George. Since we're not BFFs with George, no one feels comfortable doing the gearshift straddle, so four of us must sit in the back. We've gotten this down to a science, alternating sitting forward and backward, and while it's not necessarily comfortable, it's easier than getting two cabs or risking our limbs and lives on bodas.

Apparently, there are laws about the number of people who can ride in a car. As those of you who have visited developing countries can attest, there are seemingly no rules to the road. Unless you are muzungu. Perhaps we forgot to give the full definition earlier. It reads:
muzungu: \mi-ˈzün-goo\ noun. Slang in Luganda.
White person, perceived to have considerable wealth, and who will do just about anything to avoid being taken to an African jail. Synonyms: sucker, easy target, moneybags.

There are no undercover cop cars here. They are huge trucks with 17 policemen riding in the back. They pulled us over, and one of the cops approached our car. The other 16 assumed the position in case we decided to make a run for it.

Officer: You’re welcome to our country. I am sorry this man has endangered your life.
Us: {crickets. Staring at the boda with three adults and one child zooming by with not a helmet in sight.}
George: {says something in Lugandan. Pretty sure the translation was: “I think they’re good for $100 USD}

George exits the car to go negotiate with the cops in the truck. In our car, Courtney is extremely excited that we may take a trip to jail. Jess is too busy pointing out the weedwacker man who has donned a virus outbreak suit, SARS mask, safety goggles, gloves, and wellies. George comes back and explains we have to bribe them in order to avoid a $150,000 UsH ($75) fine and spending the weekend in jail. Although we thought we’d have a great “cultural experience” in the big house, we had Nile rafting to consider, so we decided to move forward with the bribe.

George negotiated that he could go ahead and drive us to the restaurant where we were headed before he paid the bribe. Somehow, the 17 officers seemed to forget they were concerned about the safety of four people riding in the backseat, and proceeded to follow us for 20 minutes as we drove through the slums over dirt moguls where George bottomed out several times.

George was able to get our bribe down to $80,000 UsH ($30,000 likely for himself). Unfortunately, Jess is still waiting on that proof of purchase she requested. This is Africa (TIA).